Backsliding
When we start doing deep spiritual work, reprogramming old beliefs, stepping away from old patterns and creating new ones we feel forward motion. We will show up to life differently. People will show up to us differently. We will be able to take new action. It feels exhilarating! Then someone or something will trigger us and old feelings/thoughts will pop up. Panic can ensue and we will fear we are sliding back into old patterning! What do we do?!
I hear this A LOT from my clients. They will be making leaps and bounds in terms of progress and then they will be triggered and a feeling or an old thought pops up and it causes them to shake with fear. They come to me and are terrified that 1. the work isn’t working. 2. they are doing something wrong. 3. they won’t ever get better. Feelings and thoughts that remind of us old patterns feel scary. I get it, they have scared me too. After some soothing, my first question is, “what action did you take with so and so situation/person?” If they have been reprogramming and showing up for themselves (raising their self worth), their actions are always in alignment.
Are thoughts and feelings are cyclical. Our feelings especially will always come up. We are human beings and we are here to FEEL. It’s not bad to have feelings. We don’t do this work to never have a negative feeling again! Remember the Neil Strauss quote I posted on my Instagram, “The goal isn’t to never be sad. The goal is to handle your capacity for holding sadness.”. Feelings will pop up again and good! Through this work, we also begin to strengthen our nervous system (kundalini yoga is REALLY good for this too) and we grow our capacity to hold more emotions. The strengthening and increasing our capacity to hold emotions is the point of this work, not to never feel again. When we strengthen those things we can detach (which is not to say suppress your emotions) from riding each emotional wave and take action more aligned with ourselves.
Thoughts are the same. They will cycle on a loop. Thoughts will come up and it doesn’t mean your sliding backwards or you’re not doing the work properly. It simply means you’re a human with a working brain. When a thought pops up that feels like an old pattern, stop. Say to the thought, “thank you for showing me” and then redirect your attention to this present moment. Where are your feet? What do you see? What do you smell? Draw the mind out of loop of an old thought pattern and back into the here and now. Jot down the thought if it feels triggering and you can do work around it later, but do your best to detach from the idea that your thoughts are determining where you are in this work.
When wanting to see progress in your self growth work, look to your actions. How are you showing up in life? In your relationships? Are you showing up with more authenticity? Are you walking away from things that don’t serve you and keep you small? Are you being honest with yourself and those around you? Are you keeping your word to yourself? These actions show your work. Your thoughts and feelings will rise and fall. Feel them, watch them and detach from them.
If you’re feeling stuck in this work, I look forward to connecting over a session.